Build it and they will come. That’s increasingly the case when opening a café in Melbourne circa 2016. And by build it, I mean an Insta-worthy, hashtag friendly, novelty mash-up of some kind: if you get your lobster doughnut burger, or Oreo slider, or naan ice cream cone (yes, really) right, you can bet your single origin pourover the crowds will come.

At CBD newbie White Mojo it’s the crab croissant burger that’s causing fierce weekend queues. And though it’s created with supreme online shareability in mind, it’s actually surprisingly good.

A soft shell crab fried to a crunch comes sandwiched between two grill-toasted halves of an airy, butter-rich croissant. Pickled cucumber and coriander add a burst of green freshness, while the sriracha mayo adds a non-scary hit of heat perked up with smoked eel salt. A gooey-yolked fried egg completes a plate that almost lives up to the every-table-has-ordered-one hype.

The hashtag-friendly fare doesn’t end there. From the picture perfect Eton Mess that’s no mess at all through the dramatic squid ink bun that houses the maple syrup-spiked pulled pork, there’s every pic-tastic opportunity to spread FOMO to friends.

The most dramatic is the decidedly undramatic-sounding cauliflower panna cotta, which comes to that table under a smoke-filled glass cloche to be theatrically revealed, Snapchat at the ready.

While there are many firm friends on the plate – roasted cauliflower and seared scallops, pancetta, egg and black pudding – the whole adds up to less than its parts. Hot, cold, yes, no, it’s like the MasterChef theme song stuck on repeat, the theatrics taking precedence over delicious eating.

But the coffee – a Sumatran house blend – is very good, and the cold-pressed Doctor C juice features so much carrot in the orange, grapefruit, mint blend you’ll be able to see through walls in the dark.

And while all that hype comes at a price – most dishes break through the $20 brunch barrier with ease, the burger is $24 – there’s enough on the menu to warrant a return visit, though you’d probably want to skip the peak hour queue.

The disco-tiled bull head on the wall is a design highlight of the white bright space that’s as Melbourne café stylish as it is hard-surface loud, but this is no place to linger – it’s more a case of shoot, eat and leave.