The all-you-can-eat buffet is a strange, liminal space that exists outside the bounds of the status quo. When you have hungry people, access to mountains of food, and a ticking clock – the buffet can quickly become a lawless place. Stick with us and avoid the faux pas with our etiquette guide to hitting the buffet.

Do not cut in line

This goes for every situation in life, not just the buffet, but please respect the queue. We’re living in a society here and nothing breaks down a community faster than bad manners in line.

Back away from the crab legs

We know it’s tempting to swarm the seafood section like a gull on a hot chip but you’re not a shipping trawler – leave some crab for the rest of us. 

Don’t be afraid of commitment

Please don’t return food to the buffet after you’ve touched it. It’s not the end of the world if you change your mind but if something has touched your plate, that is your responsibility now and it should never go back on the pile.

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Don’t take more than you need

There’s no shame in heading back to the buffet multiple times so don’t feel compelled to overload your plate on the first trip. Take your time, take what you need, and hit up each section when you fancy it.

If you’re sick, stay away

Remember that time we all had to stay in our houses for months on end and got all isolated and weird? Yeah, let’s not do that again. If you’re sick – stay away. Buffets are questionable places for hygiene as it is, let alone when someone is coughing and sneezing all over the shop.

Use the tongs

You wouldn’t like it if someone came to your table and touched your food. The buffet is essentially one big communal plate so keep your hands to yourself and use the tongs provided. Also, return the tongs to where you found them and don’t cross-contaminate with another section. You don’t want to be the reason someone needs to bust out their EpiPen.

No doggy bags

If you’re at an all-you-can-eat buffet, the implication is that you have all you can eat while you’re there. Many buffets don’t allow them but even if they do, don’t ask for a doggy bag. What’s stopping you from loading your table with a week’s worth of food and realising your eyes were too big for your stomach? Don’t be that guy.

Don’t be rude

This should also go without saying but you are no more important than the people around you. They’ve also paid good money to enjoy the services available so don’t get impatient, keep your frustrations in check and focus on your experience. Another mimosa, perhaps?

On the flip side, if you’re feeling chaotic…

Here’s how to make the most of the buffet

Preparation for a buffet starts long before you arrive. Just as you wouldn’t run a marathon without stretching, you shouldn’t head to a buffet on an empty stomach. Have a light snack an hour beforehand, and stay hydrated. You’ve got work to do.

Leave the carbs alone. If you’re going to get your money’s worth at the buffet, take the all-killer-no-filler approach. Bread roll? Pass! Pasta salad? No, thank you! Rice? Tell ya story walking. And do not get distracted by the pastries.

Seafood is a premium product. Bide your time, grasshopper. The servers at the buffet routinely replenish each section so observe them, learn their schedule, become one with them. Then pounce on the fresh oysters.

Avoid drinking sugary soft drinks. Your body will quickly fill up on carbonated drinks and will harness the sugar to make you feel full. Stick to the water.

If in doubt, sabotage. A strategically timed trip here, a pointy elbow there. You can probably outmaneuver the kids and oldies if you try so don’t be afraid to limber up and get scrappy.

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