Brunswick neighbourhood diner Juanita Peaches only has one self-anointed burger on the menu – its famed cheeseburger – but don’t be fooled. Its fried chicken sandwich and eggplant sandwich can comfortably be classified as burgers, if we take a burger to mean a patty sandwiched between two circular buns. The cheeseburger – featuring a lustrous grass-fed beef brisket patty and the holy trifecta of American cheese, confit shallots and dill pickles nestled between a housemade steamed potato bun dubbed the ‘boogie’ bun – is most people’s go-to, but we’re as wowed by the fried free-range chicken burger, enlivened by Juanita’s renowned boss sauce and the addition of slaw. 12 Edward St, Brunswick; juanitapeaches.com

Former Gimlet chef Raphael Exton Pery is well-versed in the burger dark arts, as he shows with aplomb at his beguilingly designed retro diner on Johnston Street. The quality beef comes from Pery’s former boss Andrew McConnell’s Meatsmith, and is shown to excellent effect in the signature Goodburger, a tasty 130-gram mix of chuck and brisket, doused in the marie rose riposte to a classic burger sauce; or in its charry smash patty cheeseburger alter ego. Add a serve of the medium-fat chips and peruse the excellent low-fi wine list that’ll make you linger a little longer. 27A-29A Johnston St, Collingwood; jollygoodmelbourne.com

Burger-making is an exact science at 1090 Burger – specifically 10 per cent fat and 90 per cent meat, an equation that lends the business its name. From humble beginnings in a Northcote trailer, Son Nguyen has now set up a permanent 1090 outpost in Richmond. The buns are brioche, the beef patties are grass-fed, aged Black Angus sourced from Mount Beauty, and the accompanying marinade has nine ingredients. The classic namesake burger, available with one or two patties, is the bestseller but also worth sampling is the Thunderburger with bacon and chilli mayo and the double-everything Bacon8tor with salted caramel (yes, you read that right) bacon mayo. 181A Swan St, Richmond; facebook.com/1090burger

Andrew McConnell knows how to create a vibe with his culty cheeseburger. Its supper menu status (post-10pm only on Friday and Saturday night) creates a scarcity mindset at his glittering Russell Street brasserie, while the fundamentals draw on excellent produce that isn’t stuffed up. The fluffy potato bun, dill-spiked sauce, dill pickles, white onion and American cheese create an all-in flavour festival of sweet, sour and tangy, while the O’Connor beef from Gippsland adds its own meaty heft. Sure, you could be dining on beluga caviar, oysters and gnocco fritto with bresaola, but this burger is all class. 33 Russell St, Melbourne; gimlet.melbourne

With shops scattered across Northcote, Richmond and Coburg, 300 Grams is best known for its beef smash patties – accompanied by different combinations of cheese, tomato, lettuce, ketchup, mayo and the secret 300 sauce. Plant eaters’ favourite thing about 300 Grams is the beef and chicken burgers can be made vegetarian or veganised with a plant-based patty, a vegan fried chicken patty, vegan cheese, vegan sauce and southern fried mushrooms. For those who like Australiana burgers, the Norfcote has egg and beetroot, and pescatarians will be pleased to know about the Scalable, 300’s take on a crumbed fish burger. 313 High St, Northcote; 300grams.com.au

A haven for late night birds and meat eaters alike, Butcher’s Diner has gained a cult following since it opened its doors at the top end of Spring Street in 2017. While its menu is eclectic, featuring the likes of charcoal-grilled skewers and nostalgia-inducing snacks such as chilli dogs and dim sims, we go for the burgers. Take your pick from the hamburger, cheeseburger, and cheeseburger with house bacon – as escalating procession of aged beef patties paired with tomato sauce, ribbons of pickles and mayo in its simplest iteration and all that plus aged cheddar, bacon, sauce and mayo in its most elaborate form. 10 Bourke St, Melbourne; butchersdiner.com

This 70s dive bar from the same people behind Sweetwater Inn – RIP – doesn’t do things by halves, even once you look past the log cabin décor. The chicken thigh patty in the hot chicken burger is glazed with habanero and duck fat. The rodeo burger features onions cooked in a reduction of Jack Daniels until they’re jammy. The blue cheeseburger, true to its name, incorporates a blue cheese jalapeno ranch sauce. If you want to go traditional, the cheeseburger with its beef brisket and short rib patty will sate all cravings, but otherwise, there are eight other burgers to choose from. 3 Wilson St, South Yarra; leonardshouseoflove.com

They make their own burger buns here – a milk bread and brioche combo – and might also be on first-name terms with their cows (local grass-fed Angus, dry-aged for 14 days, cooked medium rare to keep all the pink juiciness). The Pollo Escobar – a 24-hour marinated buttermilk-fried or grilled chicken number pimped up with bacon – is also well worth your time. You’ll find this noble resistance to boring burgers and chain eateries lurking in an arcade near Glenferrie Station. Grab a table in the basement, commandeer a board game and double down on your happiness with beer-battered chips and a cocktail. 412 Burwood Rd, Hawthorn; theresistance.net.au

A smash patty specialist in a space that looks like the bastard love child of an American diner and an Aussie milk bar? We’re all in. The pummelled-on-the-grill, super charry beef patties can barely be contained by the sesame-topped milk buns (always a good sign) while the add-ons are top notch. Hit the double patty double bacon with a thickly applied lick of onion jam, barbecue sauce and garlicky aioli for a challenging two-hander – add a beer for good measure. In a sign of our entrepreneurial times, if you love the burger, you can buy the merch. 128 Mitchell St, Maidstone; instagram.com/goodgoodburgers

Joe Farah has said he opened 300 Grams in a quest to replicate his golden childhood memories of McDonald’s Clifton Hill, but we respectfully suggest that his burgers have their own winning personality. More like a splice between the fast-food behemoth and a classic milk-bar burger, the 300 Gs burger is a big boy stuffed with American cheese, fresh tomato and a good hand on the pickles, while the cheeseburger is an oozy good time that will cure the meanest hangover. For those after the OG Aussie experience, look no further than The Norfcote with fried egg, bacon and beetroot. 300grams.com.au

A nostalgic throwback to the sepia-toned days in which a burger was known as a ‘hamburger’ (cue canned laughter), Andrew’s has been stacking it up for Albert Park since 1939. A lot of burgers have passed over this counter over the years, many of them fine examples of the milk bar-esque species that requires grilled onion to pass muster, although Andrew’s tips its hat to new-school values with its Mexican version rocking jalapenos and sour cream. Melbourne’s answer to New York’s Katz’s Deli is plastered with photos of its celebrity guests – all the more reason to dine in. 144 Bridport St, Albert Park; andrewshamburgers.com

Serving burgers to the citizens of the inner north for time immemorial – or at least, since 1945 – this iconic burger joint is beyond the realms of trends. The burgers eschew any newfangled Americanisms for a classic Aussie treatment on a seeded bun: add egg, beetroot, pineapple or grilled onion if your proclivities swing that way. The steak sangas are equally renowned, while a dim sim (or two) is another fine way to pass your time while sitting along the counter on red vinyl stools. Danny’s grill sizzles until late, making it a favourite among party animals and night owls. 360 St Georges Rd, Fitzroy North; facebook.com/Dannysburgs

It would be all too easy for Easey’s to rest on its real-estate laurels – we’re talking about the trio of graffiti-daubed silver Hitachi train carriages perched on the rooftop of a backstreet Collingwood office block – but these guys sure know their way around a good burger. Head on up for a hipster bar with a gritty attitude, where the nine-strong burger menu includes the beast known as ‘metropolitan mayhem’. A quadruple stack of beef patties with two potato cakes, pickles and all the rest, it’s the ultimate burger with altitude. If you can eat it and drink a milkshake in under three minutes, Easey’s will pick up the tab. 3/48 Easey St, Collingwood; easeys.com.au

The inaugural Australia’s Best Burger Awards recently crowned the Fillet-O-Shrimp at Port Melbourne’s CBCo Brewing the nation’s finest, and we are not about to argue its inclusion in our top 10. The creation of chef Jonathon Donovan, the homage to the Golden Arches sees a panko-crumbed prawn patty muscle out the fish, while the familiar flavours of the lettuce, onion and creamy ranch are joined by the tangy sweet soul of a Japanese mayo sauce. The rest of the brewhouse’s burger menu isn’t too shabby either, whether you’re looking at the pork ‘Ribwich’ or plant-based vegan meat number. 89 Bertie St, Port Melbourne; cbco.beer