Andrew McConnell’s restaurants may be pigeonholed for caviar and Champagne crowds, but his Fitzroy diner is home to a simple meaty pleasure between a bun – like the cheeseburger from The Menu, minus the insanity. It’s a DIY affair pre-loaded with a fat smoke-kissed wagyu patty and oozy jack cheese. Call the shots on accompaniments and how “secret sauce” heavy you go. 55/57 Gertrude St, Fitzroy; cutlerandco.com.au.

This hole-in-the-wall burger slinger is known for its all American eats. Run next to The Pantry, it’s a roll-call of meaty marvels such as the Royale with Cheese, which doubles down on dairy for ooze factor, and the ginormous double deluxe or joker, tripling down on fillings for the ultimate hunger test. 1 Church St, Brighton; pantry.com.au/royale.

Visit America’s Deep South, the ’80s and Bendigo in one retro hit. Ghosty’s is a diner straight outta Pulp Fiction. Try a sausage muffin with a cup of joe for breaky, a crumbed chicken sanger for lunch, or stick to the classic cheeseburger filled with its trademark heaping of raw onions for bite. Add shoestring fries and a malt milkshake for ultimate nostalgia. 35 View St, Bendigo; ghostysdiner.com.au.

Hidden behind the discreet “MGX” door is this lively New York-inspired French bistro. Amid classic French fare, the wagyu burger stands tall as the house favourite. Two thick patties meet perfectly rendered bacon, organic cheese, and rich bordelaise sauce on a milk-brioche bun. It’s a decadent masterpiece, a true carnivore’s delight. 111 Lonsdale St, Melbourne; barmargaux.com.au.

They’re fat, filthy and “fish and chip shop” fabulous. Albert Park’s family-run Andrew’s Hamburgers has been flipping patties since 1939, and is now led by Greg Pappas, the nephew of founder Andrew Georghiou. Load up with the lot: beef, steak or chicken with all the trimmings, or keep it simple with a $12.50 beef burger. Call ahead to beat the queue. 144 Bridport St, Albert Park; andrewshamburgers.com.au.