Madeleine West is more that qualified to talk about kids’ food, having six children under eight years old. The Australian actress, and wife to delicious. contributor Shannon Bennett (executive chef of Vue de Monde), gives us the lowdown on how to survive the dreaded kids’ birthday party.

There are only three certainties in primary school: grazed knees, soggy sandwiches, and birthday parties. A brightly coloured invite, slipped innocently into the backpack of a chosen few, can make or break friendships for life.

If your child scores a golden ticket you’re looking at a weekend of playing taxi and the quiet torture of having to chose the right gift, at the right price, for a child you barely know. If they’re snubbed; years of therapy and esteem issues. Entire empires have fallen over less. Host a shindig for your little darling, and the anxiety amps up to PPSD (pre-party stress disorder) levels.

Kids birthday parties have become big business. Sadly, the humble kiddy celebration has morphed into a red carpet extravaganza, more about ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ than the simple joys and wonders of childhood.

Spending a small fortune on entertainers, catering, and elaborate set-ups doesn’t guarantee a good time, especially for children who (following their first giddy moments of awe) fatigue from sensory overload and retreating into their shell or onto your lap. Throw in the standard ‘kiddy party cuisine’ (hello sugar high and preservatives) and you have a pint-sized glucose-fuelled rampage.

Admittedly, there is something entertaining about watching your little munchkins spin about the house, pinging off walls whirling-dervish style, and destroying everything in their path before collapsing into a sticky dirty post-party coma. But, if you’re playing host, other parties may not be as amused, and your social standing deflate faster than a punctured jumping castle.

With six littlies of my own, all of whom inconveniently has a birthday each and every year, I’ve hosted my share of parties. Think fairy, pirate, mermaid and superhero themed expos, each bigger and supposedly better than the last. What have I learned from it? I could stick a lit match in a banana, and as long as their best buddies sing them ‘happy birthday’ and they get to pull on that Cinderella dress, my children will be happy.

Now, when another big day looms on the calendar, I opt for simplicity.
It may be part laziness, and part phobia of the questionable hygiene at childrens’ play centres (let he who has lived through a week in a gastro-ravaged household of six children cast the first stone), but it’s also an equally large part of my attraction to the basic.

A traditional kids birthday party is a nostalgic salute to the parties of my youth; old fashioned, unadorned party games (a pass-the-parcel should boast one prize at its centre, not a mini-treat for everyone) and jellies, toffees and chocolate crackles were imperfect, but made with love, and utterly delicious.

“But what about all that sugar?”, I can hear through the keyboard.
Well, the true advantage of hosting your own soirée is that, while you do have to get into the kitchen, you can make most of the food ahead of item, and more importantly, determine precisely what goes into it.

The classic chocolate crackle is always a hit, with children and adults alike. My updated organic version has all the chocolate yumminess of the original version, sans trans-fats, plus has a protein hit, less sugar, plenty of nutrients and anti-oxidants. Make sure to keep them refrigerated as these beauties have a lower melting point than their garden variety cousins.

For the actual party; my ultimate suggestion is to follow the KISS principle (keep it stupidly simple). Your child’s big day might not rival the Oscars, but the kids will have a ball, and you might just be relaxed enough to actually enjoy it. Those are the things that really matter.

Madeline’s chocolate crackles

Makes 12 large or 20 small crackles

1 cup shredded coconut

200g organic solid coconut oil

1/3 cup rapadura sugar

2 cups puffed quinoa

2 cups organic puffed rice

2 tbsp valrohna dark cocoa powder

2 tbsp chopped organic milk or dark chocolate

Heat oven to 180C (160C fan-forced. Spread coconut in a thin layer over a baking paper lined tray. Toast in the oven until golden. Remove and allow to cool.

In a saucepan, combine coconut oil and sugar over a medium heats til sugar dissolves.

Stir in chocolate and cocoa powder, and coconut. Once combined set aside to cool.

Arrange patty papers on trays small enough to fit comfortably within your refrigerator.

Scoop spoonfuls of mixture into papers and refrigerate until firm.

Keep cool until serving.

* All products are available at quality grocers, specialist food stores, or dedicated healthfoods and organics retailers. Puffed quinoa can easily be made at home using a popcorn maker or on the stove top using the same method as popping corn, just ensure to keep a close eye on it as cooking time may vary.

Madeline’s first book, Six Under Eight (Viking, RRP$35), is released on April 1.