I love my friends – but some don’t seem to understand that inviting guests for dinner means getting something edible ready. These gastronomic thrifts are your classic “under caterers”. During a season where entertaining and being entertained is nearly a full time job, what do you do with those mates who insist on under feeding? I once suggested, as the clock struck 10pm, that we grab takeaway to lessen the pickling of our innards, but this option ends up costing you and not them. Somehow, you end up dismally out of pocket while also looking obsessively greedy.

In my experience, the under caterer’s saving grace is that they are usually good for drinks. You don’t have to bring a bottle of white or bubbles; just bring food so you remember the night. What are the gifting options options without bringing the whole meal to point-the-finger and offend!

A cheese board with a few trimmings is a great option. It’s universal – something you can snack on and doesn’t intrude, unlike bringing in a large pot plant and asking “which bedroom’s mine?”. Provide a good choice of three cheese – one soft like a brie, one hard like a cheddar (stack this to make it double the size of the other cheeses) and a good light blue. Blue cheese usually polarises people, but it’s a good light blue that you spend money on that often can be the winner. Plus if nobody else touches it at least you have dinner for yourself sorted. Bring some crackers and lavosh, quince paste and some pears or a little light fruit (#makeitdelicious).

Next option is bread and cured meats. Again this is something that you can eat without the aid of a main meal from your guests… wait, hosts! Go a few different meats, olives, stuffed peppers and a bread with artisan butter – all things that you can grab at the shops that don’t require a day in the kitchen preparing. Even a terrine, akin to “meat loaf” but a bit fancy, that can make a light meal for the culinary forgetful and his victims.

Dessert is well received but late to the table, but much better to bring canapés so you can relax the rest of the evening even if nothing else turns up. Grrrr, wait, was that my stomach? Next time organise to go to theirs for drinks and then go out to a local “just to make it easier”!