Thou shalt wear a Christmas crown for at least part of the day

No one likes a Grinch so just wear the silly hat, get some awkward pictures taken, and have some fun with it.

Thou shalt let everyone tell their cracker joke

Especially the kids. They either won’t get the joke, or it’ll be the most hilarious thing they’ve ever heard. Either way, be polite and let everyone tell their joke if they want to.

Thou shalt not start eating until the cook sits down

For those who haven’t cooked for or hosted a Christmas lunch before, allow us to enlighten you. Weeks of preparation goes into this meal. Hours have been spent in the kitchen. Just wait a few minutes before diving in and say thank you to the cooks!

Thou shalt respect people's lifestyle choices

You may have grown up with Andrew but if your cousin prefers another name or pronoun these days, that’s the end of the discussion. Oh, and no one is bringing their ‘housemate’ to Christmas lunch. Pass the gravy.

Thou shalt divide pork crackling evenly

A cardinal rule of pork crackling is that everyone gets a piece. Except the cook. They get two.

Thou shalt place prawn shells immediately into a bag to be frozen

You’ll thank yourself later if you make sure this job is done early in the day. No one wants prawn heads sitting on the bench for hours on end in 40 degree heat.

Thou shalt observe reverent silence during the lighting of the pudding

The lighting of the pudding almost never goes to plan but when it finally does happen, lean into the wonder and proffer enthusiastic ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs.’

Thou shalt not whine about carols

It’s one day. It’s the day. Let Mum have it.

Thou shalt play How to Make Gravy at least 10 times

We don’t make the rules but Christmas day should involve at least 10 spins of Paul Kelly’s How to Make Gravy. Don’t judge us for the 11am beer, we’re emotional beings.

Thou shalt clean up if thou did not cook

Nope, you’re not heading to the couch, you’re not having a nap. You’re not waiting to be asked. If you didn’t cook the lunch, you are cleaning up. That means leftovers packed away, dishes done and pans at least ‘soaking.’