Food Files

World-famous “Asparamancer” predicts Harry and Meghan's split from the royal family by reading asparagus spears

royal-asparagus

The spears say yes.

Self-proclaimed fortuneteller and “Asparamancer” Jemima Packington says that Harry and Meghan’s split from the royal family was written in the spears.

While most people use them as a side dish, Jemima prefers to toss her asparagus in the air and then observe how it lands, a technique, she says, that allows her to see into the future.

To make her reading, Jemima looks for clues in the ways the spears are pointing,  if any of them cross each over, and if the pile itself forms a shape.

The vegetable reader claims she has been doing it since she was 8-years old and is right about 75-90 percent of the time.

In her predictions for 2020, she had previously stated: “There will be continued turmoil within the Royal family and this will result in certain members being precluded from Royal duties and have privileges withdrawn but the Sovereign will prevail. More royal births but royal bereavements too,” which seems to confirm Harry and Meghan’s recent decision to step back from their roles as senior members of the British royal family.

Among her previous prophecies, Packington had correctly predicted Brexit as well as England winning the Cricket World Cup.

Here are the Asparamancer’s predictions for 2020

  1. Trump will win a second term as President before being impeached.
  2. The instances of storms, typhoons, hurricanes and flooding will increase tenfold, directly attributable to global warming.
  3. Sports and sporting personalities will be embroiled in scandals including some high profile and much-loved names.
  4. Brexit will happen smoothly and will not cause the problems that were anticipated.
  5. A real shake-up of the major political parties will take place sooner than expected.
  6. There will be a resurgence of independent retailers and smaller shops.
  7. The youngest person ever to win an Oscar will be heralded as an acting talent of the future.
  8. There will be continued turmoil within the Royal family and this will result in certain members being precluded from Royal duties and have privileges withdrawn but the Sovereign will prevail. More royal births but royal bereavements too.
  9. A renowned showbiz personality will announce his retirement from public life which will come as a great surprise, but he will receive an honour for his achievements.
  10. A review of the BBC licence fee will take place and the fee will be reduced or abolished completely.
  11. A review will take place of the standards set for education from kindergarten to university, leading to radical reforms.
  12. The interest in veganism will plateau.
  13. The Vale of Evesham asparagus will be heralded as the most prized vegetable worldwide.

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