Over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather cook at home or make a picnic for the woman I love on Valentine’s Day than make a reservation.

There are a number of reasons. Firstly, as it’s one of the most popular nights of the year to eat out, it’s harder to get the reservation you want. This means booking well in advance, so the choice of venue may not end up matching the weather, or the fickle tastes of your loved one.

Then there’s the pressure of being in a room of loved-up couples on Valentine’s Day. Do they look more in love than the two of you? And has the person at the next table over just given their date a piece of jewellery that makes your thoughtful gift of a book of Pablo Neruda’s love poetry seem cheap? 

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There’s also the pressure to buy that $48 glass of Champagne because everyone else is… when you’d rather have beer and money in your pocket. Also beware the (sometimes mandatory) one-night-only set menu – especially when you only wanted a main and dessert.

What about the very legitimate fear – for those who aren’t engaged – of being in a setting where engagements might happen? If the man at the next table pops the question, it could prompt thorny questions at your own table, like “Why haven’t you?”

And if you’re the ones getting engaged, there’s the risk that another table will steal your thunder. I once dined on Valentine’s Day at a notoriously romantic place where three proposals happened in one night. The first  was met by whoops of joy from diners. By the third, the squeals of delight from the room – and recipient – had diminished. 

The pressures on the restaurants are also amped up for Valentine’s Day dinner. Customers are more demanding, expecting everything to be extra special. And with so many places overflowing, there’s a bigger risk of delays with meals or drinks. Then there are all those requests that a frantically busy restaurant just loves – for rings to be hidden in bread rolls or glasses of Champagne, or baked into a souffle. 

So, don’t worry if you haven’t made a booking. Embrace it as a decision made for the best possible reasons. Never underestimate the romantic power of a nice meal out, just don’t do it when everyone else does. 

Far better, surprise your loved one with a booking at their favourite place – whether it’s a fancy fine-diner or much-loved hole in the wall – on the day before or the week after Valentine’s Day. Make it special by giving them a formal invitation (with a bunch of flowers). It will invariably be a better, far more enjoyable experience for all concerned. And, if you do happen to propose, it’s also more likely to be a truly unique, memorable moment.

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