Vale, the undisputed champ of the all-you-can-eat buffet. No one cared about the steak, you only ordered it to get access to the unlimited salad and dessert stations. Cucumber, carrot, corn, every ingredient was displayed separately so you could make your meal exactly as you desired it, with one salad dressing or five. You could have a whole bowl of croutons if you wanted. And don’t even get us started on the butter fried cheese toast. Whether Dad got a promotion or you got an B+ in Geography, all the big milestones were celebrated here.

While the Hog’s Breath Cafe chain is still alive and squealing, there’s a certain time-capsule quality to the Americana-saloon steakhouse that has earned it a place on our list. Not to mention the sheer number of puns they’ve managed to squeeze in, from their signature hogs-pitality to the invitation to swine and dine, it’s genius from snout to tail.

One of a number of pizza chains that couldn’t keep up with the big players, Pizza Haven was once a top competitor to Pizza Hut and Dominoes. Our main memory of Pizza Haven (aside from the massage-heavy advertisements) is ironically the super creamy pastas that arrived piping hot in a foil container, topped with enough cheese to cause a coronary.

Still searching for that lost shaker of salt. Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville chain is still going strong in the US but apparently the Australian market wasn’t quite ready for the Island-inspired diner that was. Replete with palm thatching, neon lights, and exotic birds as far as the eye can see, it was always 5 o’clock at Margaritaville.

Dine like the stars at Planet Hollywood. The movie memorabilia-fuelled chain was backed by Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylverster Stallone, Demi Moore, and Bruce Willis, and was the arcade of chain restaurants. These days, a blue globe sitting atop a corner of the Plaza Theatre building on Sydney’s George Street is one of the only remaining signs of what once was a packed out restaurant/museum until its closure in 1999.

What even was Smorgy’s? 30 years on and we’re still asking the question. A fever dream of Tiki-inspired fake volcanoes, chlorine-spiked indoor waterfalls and hospital-grade food (read: not great) awaited the hungry youth of Melbourne from the late ’90s until the very early ’00s. Many of us have merged Nickelodeon’s Secret Temple game show with memories of Smorgy’s and even question whether this place was real but we can assure you, it was, and it was beautiful.

If you didn’t make yourself sick from eating fistfuls of peanuts (you could throw. The shells. On the floor. Utter liberation.) at Lone Star did you even really go? These days, OH&S issues like trip hazards and allergies mean that you can no longer toss your shells on the floor with gay abandon but you can still dive into a pile of ribs and some of the kitschiest Tex-Mex this side of the equator.

Though Barnacle Bill peaked in the 1980s when it was almost as popular as McDonald’s, there are still a few of the seafood restaurants kicking about – largely in South Australia where around a dozen are scattered across Adelaide, versus just two in NSW. Not a lot has changed since old Bill’s inception, with pineapple fritters, crumbed calamari, seafood salad and jelly cups still on the menu. Retro.

The K-Mart of today is a very different beast to that of the ’80s and ’90s. So much so, that many have forgotten that the megastore used to have its own in-store cafes called Holly’s. Weary shoppers could stop in for a sandwich, a cigarette, and a coffee to refuel before hitting the aisles again.

The place to go to for the end of netball season dinner, Gourmet Pizza Kitchen (or GPK as the cool kids called it) was a flash in the early noughties pan for vast quantities of affordable pizza in what seemed like a fancy setting to an 11 year old. The sheer length of the menu should have been a warning sign to our parents – 103 items, not including drinks – but at the time, it was dazzling.