If you are what you eat, one can only wonder how a larger-than-life, caricature of a presidential candidate fuels his furious machine.

In what feels like the longest and most surreal U.S. presidential campaign in history, not much about the life of businessman-cum-reality-TV-star-cum-presidential-candidate, Donald Trump, has been free from scrutiny, including his less than desirable eating habits.

With his, at times, apparent dislike for the entire Middle East it’s unlikely we’ll see him chowing down on lamb kofte and hummus, so what does the Republican candidate enjoy?

Good ol’ fashioned fast food.

In defence of the self-made billionaire, Trump has been on the road for about eight months and if you can’t enjoy a McDonald’s stop on a road trip, when can you?

The most surprising fact about his penchant for the Golden Arches is his burger of choice is a Filet-o-Fish. He comes across as more of a Double Quarter Pounder or Big Mac kind of guy, but it goes to show that appearances can be as deceiving as presidential promises can be terrifying.

Although he sometimes skips breakfast, Trump does love to kick off his day with bacon and eggs. He prefers his bacon to be not too crispy and his fried eggs cooked with a hard yolk. Some folks would suggest this is a crime against eggs, however this is not the only food crime he commits.

Amongst his many alleged sins, Trump reportedly also likes his steak cooked right through. In fact, Trump likes it extremely well done. Cremated is the rippled marbled fat of the expensive cuts he eats, and gone are the juices that keep them succulent. He simply likes his steak overdone, much like his spray tan.

Such a fan of the meatloaf sandwich is he, that Martha Stewart showed him how to make a meatloaf when he appeared on her show. Perhaps if Trump is successful in this presidential race, the White House kitchens can do away with gastronomic state dinners and look to making an array of meatloaves served with potato gratin. Hold the salad.

Trump claimed on social media to be a huge fan of taco bowls and the Hispanics who gave him such a culinary delight. This assertion was contrary to his promise to build a wall to keep Mexicans out. Many are as confused about this contradiction as they are about his hair, which looks as though he’s sporting a flat cap made of strawberry blonde fairy floss.

Trump does not drink alcohol. Unlike many who become teetotal after consuming too much, he has never been a drinker. He also drinks no coffee but is a “yuuuuuuuge” fan of Diet Coke, which smacks of irony, as he once tweeted, “I’ve never seen a thin person drink Diet Coke.” Perhaps he ought to revisit his twitter feed for some dietary advice.