Ah Paris: the city of love, the city of lights. The city of a million boulangeries, bistros and temples of haute cuisine for the hungry. It was with rising panic then, a week out from a spontaneous few days in the French capital, that I stared down the impossible task of deciding where to eat in Paris.

In a frenzy, I started making solo restaurant bookings, buoyed by the apparent ease of the French booking systems. The only difference to the platforms, with which we’re so well-versed in Australia, was the approvals process; bookings are generally automatic, but it’s up to the venue to accept. And so I booked, and waited, and the response was fast, and brutal. First one, then two, then four restaurants all declined my lonely table for one.

Be it my too-well-patronised restaurant choices, or the economic shortfall of a single bill, booking a table for one proved defeating (and a quick Reddit scan showed I wasn’t alone in my struggle). All my visions of blending in at a corner table evaporated, and I touched down in Paris without a single meal secured.

Paris is a city venerated for its dining culture, where the art of the long lunch has been perfected at countless street-side tables. At the height of summer, it seemed every cafe was packed – could I be the only person sans a seat? Dining alone has never normally fazed me, but one sneer from the front-of-house at a no-bookings bistronomy hotspot sent me scuttling on my very first evening.

I did end up finding moments of joie de vivre, which helped me to remember what made the city so intoxicating during my first visits as a backpacker (when crepes and baguettes were my sole sustenance). And, of course, many find Paris a dream solo-dining destination. But of all the cities I’ve taken on alone, this one proved itself to be the one most calculated to trigger social anxiety every time I sought a seat.

As the saying goes: do as I say, not as I do. If you find yourself struggling while supping solo in Paris, these tips might help you find succour.

Seek out the set menu

Forget souffles and creme brulee, the prix fixe might just be the greatest French culinary innovation. When you’re unsure how to navigatea menu, the prix fixe (set-price menu) and plat du jour (plate of the day) will set you free. If in doubt, just point. Lunchtime is inevitably when you’ll find the best-value prix fixe menus around Paris, and it’s often a thrifty way to sample the fare at a higher-end bistro without paying the higher dinnertime prices.

Related story: The 10 best bistros in Paris you just can’t say non to

Take things casual

Paris might have some of the world’s most lofty fine diners. But unless your bank balance is the equivalent of a small country’s GDP, dining at one every day is not going to be feasible or, let’s be honest, even that fun. But Paris also has a downright charming casual dining scene. In the end, I found my happy place leaning against a barrel at a wine shop outside the Marché Aligre; and over a bowl of mussels at the counter of Les Enfants du Marché in the city’s oldest food market. There is also a bistro on every corner, from the legendary to the local. And if all else fails, tearing apart a crisp baguette or buttery croissant on a riverbank or lawn somewhere is a pretty fine way to dine.

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Leave French lessons for Duolingo

A little language goes a long way, but unless you’re fluent, you might not be thanked for trying out too much high-school French on a busy waiter. Saying that, a friendly “bonjour” or “bonsoir” and a few choice phrases (“une table pour une personne, s’il vous plait”) is unlikely to go astray.

Show no fear, and fear not

Do you ever have the feeling that your every faux pas is being observed? You’re not alone. The sense that all eyes are on you in a social situation – even when that’s far from true – is so common that it has a name: the Spotlight Effect. So while it might have felt like it at the time, my few foiled attempts at getting a table did not make me the biggest pariah in Paris, and nor will it you. Follow your stomach, and bon appetit.

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