The finger-licking good, crunchy cheese flavour bombs I remember so well from childhood days of kids’ parties. There’d be cheese under your nails for days. But we’re adults now, so we need to get serious. And I’d seriously think about a fresh, fruity, crisp, cold rosé. Something with a little more body than a Provence style, I’d look to a deeper pink, fuller-bodied drop, perhaps something Australian. Think strawberries on a cheese board. It will still be dry but pack a bit more fruit and flavour to stand up to the intensity of the twisty.

The naughty, tasty party snack full of salty, yellow umami goodness. With the comforting aroma of roast chicken or perhaps a succulent Chinese meal, where ever your chippy senses lead you, you’ll need to find something that can handle a lot of umami and salt. First tip – nothing with high tannins. Salt can amplify the wine’s tannins, so I’d go for a light and fruity Pinot Noir. The pinot’s juicy, bright fruit qualities will stand up nicely to this moreish bag of crisps. I’d even consider giving the pinot a slight chill.

The sommelier’s dreaded but delicious salt and vinegar crisp. Generally, when pairing wine with food, you want more acid in your glass than in your dish, which sounds utterly impossible with salt and vinegar chips. But do not fear! There are options. I’m going to favour a sauvignon blanc. Anything you can imagine drinking with that fresh, crisp salad slugged with vinegarette is something you can comfortably pair with salt and vinegar crisps. The high acid of a Savvy B tends to soften the vinegar’s sharpness and reveals more of the wine’s fruit in each sip and crunch.

Sweet chilli chippies are a devastatingly regular occurrence for me and Riesling is the perfect friend to these lightly spiced, slightly sweet, salty delights. Riesling is well known for pairing with spicy food, its modest sweetness offsetting the heat. I’d suggest a German Riesling – something off-dry or dry but fruit-forward. Riesling is often low or medium in alcohol, helping to decrease the chilli’s heat. Wines higher in alcohol tend to increase the chilli’s burn.

There’s no messing around with the classic, plain crisp. It’s salt, fat and carbs. The O.G. We need a wine with high acidity that can carve through this flavour fat bomb and elevate your taste buds, a drop that refreshes your palate after each salty pop of chip. I’d suggest Champagne, but if you’re on more of a chip than a caviar budget, try a traditional method sparkling from Tasmania. A sip of bubbles and your palate will be revived and primed, ready for the next morish crisp.