A biscuit is more than a sweet hit or a dunkable morsel for morning tea. It can hold childhood memories and even a sense of national pride. Arnott’s hold a place in Australian culture that goes far beyond what’s in our biscuit tins. We ranked, for better or worse, Arnott’s biscuits from worst to best. Here goes.
Let’s get this out of the way quickly. The plainest of biscuits dressed up with a bit of fondant, a strip of raspberry jam, and some desiccated coconut that’s dry as a desert. While there’s nostalgia at play here and that it’s a bit “grandma-ish” it’s all a bit meh.
This is school tuck shop at its peak. It has the trinity of biscuit crunch, chocolate and pillowy marshmallow. There’s balance and texture and sweetness. A thumbs up across the board.
Maybe we’re creatures of simple tastes but we’re enamoured by the classic uncoated likes of the Nice (best pronounced with a French accent), Milk Arrowroot and the Milk Coffee. Not too sweet, subtle in flavour and very importantly they are dependable dunkers.
It’s been said by the team before and we’ll say it again, “Tim Tams have like 20 flavours because they are the best; it’s like the vote’s already in.” While there are plenty of fancy Tim Tam flavours out there, it’s the classic that gets our vote every time.
Who needs a posh biscuit when you’ve got the Kingston, Scotch Finger, Butternut Snap and Ginger Nut. A note on the Ginger Nut (which shoulders out competition in this field), is that there’s debate as to whether it could take the Arnott’s top spot. Aromatic, crisp, tough, dunkable with a great aftertaste and unlike many others, not too sweet. But could it take the crown, against the likes of the original Tim Tam?
Grapes are at their peak right now, look for firm, bright fruit for a sweet juicy snack.
While the posh Tim Tam iterations are a major miss there’s no denying that both the original and the double coated are a thing of biscuity genius. We don’t make the rules.
Strangely luxurious, its prominent whiff tuning into after dinner mint memories; the height of eighties sophistication. Controversial perhaps but it’s a clear choccy coated winner. Not too sweet like, say, a Gaeity or a Caramel Crown, and just has that x-factor. The fact that the Mint Slice hasn’t been buggered with in the way Tim Tams have perhaps plays a part.
A sophisticated blend of salty, cracker-like biscuit with a zesty lemon cream filling, the Lemon Crisp is wildly underrated but a strong contender as one of the finest.
While it may not have stepped foot on Italian soil, this is a worldly biscuit indeed. The Ventians’s blend of white chocolate, slightly tart currants and a malty spiced biscuit is damn hard to contend with.
They may not be as good as a No Frills Raspberry Tartlet (remember those?) but the Arnotts Raspberry Shortcake comes pretty close, and to be fair, is far easier to get your hands on. Yes, they’re the grandma of the Arnott’s world but crumbly shortbread, a dollop and jammy gel and a cup of tea sounds like a winner every time.
