Let’s hear it for the wisdom of a seafood wholesaler with the foresight to open a vast 200-seat fish and chip shop. The Australian Seafood Group deals only in sustainably fished Aussie and NZ product, with its long list of local fish waiting to be grilled or fried including sea perch, flathead and king George whiting, along with the added-luxe options of chargrilled cray tails and Moreton Bay bugs. You can take away but eating in means you can enjoy a prosecco or Aperol Spritz with your dinner. 146 Gaffney Street, Coburg North; instagram.com/blu_australian_seafood_group

Eyeballing Port Melbourne beach and its chip-loving seagulls, D’Lish Fish provides an excellent example of the fryer’s craft. Your choice of flake or blue grenadier is encased in a bubbly, super-crisp batter; all you have to do is add potato cakes, dim sims and chips so good you’ll be tempted to order maximum rather than minimum. Pro tip: tell them to go hard on the chicken salt, and keep an open mind when it comes to the deep fried Mars bar. 3/105 Beach Street, Port Melbourne; dlishfish.com

Another option demonstrating the beautiful synaesthesia of eating fish and chips in sight of sand and seagulls, this historic bathers’ pavilion gussied up into a swellegant day-to-night venue has panoramic views of St Kilda beach and a choice of real estate including picnic tables and beach cabanas (book ahead – they’re in hot demand). Wherever you choose, the fish is crisp, the chips are thin and the cocktail-charged vibes are high. Walk off the calories with a post-meal visit to the colony of little penguins nearby. 330A Beaconsfield Parade, St Kilda West; westbeachstkilda.com.au

There are many things you can be sure of at this multi-level, multi-venue house of fun. Cold beer. Live music. Big crowds. Also: a worthy fish and chips. Hit the Espy Main Bar & Terrace, where batons of flaky fleshed white fish are encased in gnarly batter with superior crunch. But wait, there’s more: medium-thick fries, mushy peas and a curry sauce that adds a bold new dimension to the experience (there’s also tomato sauce if you ask nicely, but why would you?) Sync your visit with the help of the gig guide. 11 The Esplanade, St Kilda; hotelesplanade.com.au

You can order a whole crayfish with garlic parsley butter and Moreton Bay bug spaghettini at Crown’s high-falutin’ seafood restaurant, so it follows that it’s also a place happy to posh up your fish and chip order. There’s a choice of Aquna Murray cod, flathead and King George whiting, served with mushy peas, beer-battered fat chips and the tangy house tartare (pro tip: it’s also hard to go past the spanner crab tart). If you’re not feeling the table service vibe, try the Atlantic’s equally excellent Fish & Chippery kiosk fronting the river promenade, where the choice includes rockling and barramundi. 8 Whiteman St, Southbank; theatlantic.com.au

Ye olde boathouse, newfangled fish and chips. After a $5.8 million renovation, this sprawling venue under the gum trees on the Yarra’s edge in Kew has found a whole new vibe that swings from coffee and cocktails to smashed avo and fish and chips. The subject of our current inquiry has some solid KPIs, including local rockling coated in a lightweight filigree batter, thinnish but well-seasoned fries, lemony tartare and the nicely-judged acidic curveball of cos lettuce pimped out with red onion pickles. Finish with the trifle – everyone else does. Then hire a rowboat afterwards to work it all off. 1 Boathouse Road, Kew; studleyparkboathousekew.com.au

The fish and chip cognoscenti know that some of the very best of the oeuvre can be found in Melbourne’s pubs – just like this fine example in the landlocked inner north serving up salt-aired sentiments along with its classic fish and chips. Here it’s done with rockling, steamed into pearlescent perfection inside its crunchy carapace and augmented by its reliable band of hangers-on: big chips, tangy house tartare, a squeeze of lemon and some fresh leaves tipping their hat to that fungible concept of ‘balance. The only other thing you need to do at this Gen-Z honeytrap is add beer. 442 Nicholson St, Fitzroy North; royaloakhotel.co

Just like the name says, this is right near the foreshore, in the thick of the maritime-minded historic precinct. Adding to the allure of this favourite fry shack housed in a grandly old Victorian building is the reliably clean fry, the thick-cut old-school chips and the choice of fresh fish destined to meet its crunch-making destiny for your dining pleasure. Date night? Get a twin pack, up the romance ante by throwing in a couple of South Melbourne Market dim sims and dine alfresco overlooking the aforementioned pier as the sea breeze licks the salty tang from your grease-kissed lips. 1 Syme St, Williamstown; offthepierfishandchips.com.au

You can rely on the guys behind indie craft brewery Moon Dog to lean wholeheartedly into a theme. Their beach club is a sensory extravaganza opposite the sand at Frankston that goes the full cabana with tropical sunset murals, bamboo bars and gaudy cocktails that ask you to leave your self-respect at the door (in the best possible way). On that note, the fish and chips slot right in. The fish variety depends on the market, but the beer batter is eternal – as are the medium fries, herby tartare and salad for balance. Whether you can hit the dance floor afterwards is another matter. 490 Nepean Hwy, Frankston; moondog.com.au/beach-club

A classic fish and chipper, from its green-tiled shopfront to its roll-call menu, including chips, potato cakes and chiko rolls. Fish on High is for people who are overcome with food-borne nostalgia on Friday nights and love nothing more than ripping open that white paper parcel on the way home for a few rogue crispies. If you feel like losing all semblance of self respect, there are fewer fun ways to do it than with a battered sausage – this is a judgment-free zone, people – but stick to the canon and add a pineapple fritter, too. You won’t be sorry. 844 High St, Thornbury; fishonhigh.com

If there’s one thing better than eating fish and chips on the beach with sand between your toes, it’s eating fish and chips in a comfortable dining room while watching people on the beach getting sand stuck between their toes. That’s the deal at this glass-walled pavilion capitalising on its foreshore position. An amiable modern bistro on friendly terms with soft furnishings, it delivers fish and chips in beer-battered flathead form. There’s tartare and a squeeze of lemon, along with a wine list with plenty of crisp whites to match the mission. Throw in a dozen oysters, and go to town. 15 Elwood Foreshore, Elwood; elwoodbathers.com

It’s easy to follow Anthony Bourdain’s edict not to order fish on a Monday when it comes to this family-run biz – they’re not open on a Monday, for starters – but otherwise it’s smooth sailing, with a menu that delivers a choice of fish (flake, barramundi, blue grenadier) and textbook chips, plus all the add-ons that make it an elevated chipper experience. There’s gluten-free batter on offer, and you can make it a meal pack with a dim sim and fat potato cake as well. A few tables on the street are hot property when the weather’s smiling. 612A Moreland Road, Brunswick West; thebrunswickfishandchippery.com

You can certainly go fancy at this trio of inner-south-eastern fish and chip shops – we’re thinking of the prawn tacos, deep-fried fish wings and poké bowls – but the classics are an intrinsic part of the Tommy Ruff experience. Head directly to the classic packs such as the “tacklebox for two”, a picture of golden delight including fried fish, calamari rings, king prawns, potato cakes and chips, or hit the healthier option of grilled John Dory fillet with chips and Japanese `slaw. Multiple locations; tommyruff.com.au.

This Brighton fave has the soul of old school fish and chippery hiding in the up-market design demanded by its location. There’s a dazzling range of fresh seafood to take home, but we recommend you let them do all the work before taking the paper parcel to the nearby beach. Expect excellence across its menu of bubbly-battered potato cakes, crisp fat chips, sustainable Australian and New Zealand fish and tempting extras such as garlic prawn skewers and salt and pepper calamari. They also crank out a classic Australian burger with beetroot, egg and bacon. Happy days. 20 Church Street, Brighton; fishtankbrighton.com.au.