Vanilla as a flavour is so basic – so, well, vanilla – that its name has become synonymous with plain, and slightly lacking. But scour your local store’s freezer cabinet and find the spectrum of scoopable white and creamy hues, ready for dropping in a cone or eating straight from the tub.

There’s no denying Australians’ love of ice cream, it’s a staple of our childhood summers. Sure, there’s a time and place for gelato scoops in pastel pistachio and rich chocolate, too. But sometimes life calls for the simplicity of a scoop at home, a grandma-style modest dessert to pair with apple pie or top with sprinkles.

Not all tubs of vanilla ice cream are created equal. In a bid to find the best (and the worst), we tasted nine supermarket brands, weighing up texture and flavour, ingredients and deliciousness. One, a non-dairy ice cream by So Good, was so different in flavour – even this oat and soy milk drinker couldn’t endure it – that it was disqualified from competition altogether.

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Almost every big ice cream brand has a vanilla offering. Yet many don’t include actual vanilla, from the “pods” (technically fruits) of the vanilla orchid. Some use vanilla extract instead, made with seeds scraped from pods and preserved in alcohol, which enhances and alters the flavour. Another trick is vanillin flavour, which can be synthetically produced. Taste wise it’s equivalent to a milkshake-style strawberry syrup versus a real strawberry. 

Vanilla ice cream might sound simple, but the ingredients list in many is not. Think: stabilisers and emulsifiers, artificial flavours and preservative numbers. Noted, we’re not in the ice cream aisle for the health benefits.

Our ice cream taste test involved one food writer, one seven-year-old boy for moral support, and a lot of spoons going straight into the tub. 

8. Peters Original Vanilla Ice Cream, 2L, $5.50

Where Streets’ Blue Ribbon has a hint of quality about it this massive tub of pure white ice cream does not. There’s a whipped texture to it, and tastes like it belongs in a foam cone. I want to say “frozen dessert” instead of ice cream. 2.5/10

7. Streets Blue Ribbon Classic Vanilla, 2L, $6.50

To me, this tastes like an ’80s childhood. It’s the ice cream my mother, a food writer and food director of various Australian magazines, bought us kids as a rare treat. Back when gelato only came in frozen half lemons from the deli. It has a pleasing, slightly chewy, creamy texture and basic vanilla taste. Confusingly, it has “dairy ingredients” including “reconstituted buttermilk and/ or reconstituted skim milk”. But it gets a thumbs up anyway. 4.5/10

6. Bulla Creamy Classics Vanilla, 2L, $11

When the kids beg for ice creams at playdates these days, it’s this giant tub that gets pulled from the back of the freezer. Not one for the adults to savour perhaps, with its lack of nuance, caramel punch and way-too-subtle vanilla notes. But pack it into a bowl and sprinkle it with Milo and you have yourself a modern suburban childhood. 5/10

5. Woolworths Vanilla Bean Ice Cream, 1L, $6.50

Surprise surprise, I’m better than everyone expected. This is the little tub that could, and it was voted number one by Mister Seven (a tie with Van Diemens Land’s). He liked the seeds “and ice creaminess”. There are visible vanilla seeds, it’s clean and creamy at once, and feels like a quality scoop. It contains (highly processed) glucose syrup, which is a shame health wise. 5.5/10

4. Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Ice Cream, 457ml, $13.50

It’s a big brand, and tastes and looks like a mass product, but it’s pretty good. This ice cream has a vanilla essence kick, it’s smooth, creamy and is made using real ingredients like fresh cream and egg yolk. The density of it is great compared to other over-whipped contenders. But it feels pricey for what it is. 6/10

3. Connoisseur Gourmet Ice Cream Classic Vanilla, 1L, $12

Dense, ridiculously smooth and almost chewy ice cream with a clean vanilla flavour. I’d come back to this, if I ever run out of ice cream again after this taste test. It melts quickly, which is what it should do. 6.5/10

2. Van Diemens Land Creamery Vanilla Bean, 500ml, $12.99

Vanilla-note wise, this has the most complex, luxurious flavour of all the ice creams we tried. There are miniscule black specks of vanilla seeds, which leave a lingering, subtle real-vanilla taste. It has a fresh milk taste but is so creamy and smooth it almost clings to your mouth. 7/10

1. Elato Artisanal Ice Cream, Triple Vanilla, 475ml, $12.50

Triple vanilla is right. There’s vanilla on vanilla in this small tub, and it feels serious enough to serve with your good silver. It has Madagascan vanilla extract, natural vanilla flavour, as well as enough vanilla seeds to make the ice cream appear slightly brown. Excitingly, there’s egg yolk in the ingredients. 8/10

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