Weird food trend #1: oat milk slices

(just add water). Maybe you’ll shy away from these dried ‘milk’ sheets because you side with the UK Supreme Court’s ruling that Oatly couldn’t call its oat dairy alternative ‘milk’, as it’s not a dairy product. Or you just think oat milk slices are another way of selling us powdered milk. Either way, it’s a MISS.

Weird food trend #2: spicy hot cross buns

Call me an old fogey, but I like my hot cross buns old-fashioned. No matcha swirl or chocolate buttons; no flavourings of corn chip or mint slice. I know we live in a time when people crave the new and unusual. I also understand that controversial or disgusting products make more noise, thanks to social media algorithms, but here’s a hill I will die on: spicy hot cross buns are a step too far – even in a market seeking out increasingly spicy snacks. MISS

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Weird food trend #3: cold foam

As loved by Paris Hilton, this is an airy milk froth poured on coffees and other drinks, in flavours like pumpkin spice or salted caramel. Made from cold milk (sometimes a little cream) it’s a less guilt-inducing fluffy plume than the wonderful cream from a can, and perfect on iced coffee or cold brews in summer. But beware – many cold foams are sweetened. UNDECIDED

Weird food trend #4: yuzu everywhere

I love this fragrant Japanese citrus, but is enough enough? It’s now in everything from ponzu and miso to gin, chilli pastes (like yuzu koshō) and lip balm. Well, I’d say no! Especially when it’s fresh yuzu. HIT

Weird food trend #5: grass soda

We’ve had pickle cotton candy and fish & chip gelato (I’ll pass on both) but it seems weird-flavoured sodas are the new go. No, grass soda isn’t the new edible, but a Rocket Fizz soft drink that they say tastes like freshly cut grass smells. Colour me intrigued. But then, I’m the guy in the horror film who goes through the door he’s told not to. We shouldn’t be surprised. Novelty soda is big in the US and Japan. We’ve already seen celery cola, bacon pop, dirt soda, butter soda and spicy buffalo wing soda. Also, who are we to judge? The tonic in our G&Ts contains quinine, from cinchona tree bark. Here, as with novelty chip flavours, I fear my curiosity gets the better of me, so… HIT

Weird food trend #6: non ice cream

Some worry that vegan/health trends have been a handy smokescreen to let some manufacturers use vegetable oil and overrunning (incorporating more air) instead of dairy to create frozen desserts. Check the ingredients and just say no. MISS (unless you’re a vegan, in which case, I’ll let you weigh up the ethics of palm oil yourself).

Weird food trend #7: too much cheese

This is a question I never thought I’d write, but are we going too far? Like the excessive cheese in your toastie to ensure a massive (photogenic) cheese pull. Arguably even worse is serving that toastie with a side of runny cheese sauce for dunking. And I don’t care if it’s just like the bechamel served on a traditional croque monsieur, or the runny orange goop on cheap nachos at US sports stadiums. Stop it! MISS

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