Dear Mr Preston,

We have noticed that your fridge and freezer are bulging, your pantry shelves are sagging and the doors and drawers of your kitchen can only be shut with force. Things need to change, and radically. You are hanging on to too much stuff. We highlight these main areas of concern.

Jams, relishes and condiments

If they look old, like that jar of nut butter than now tastes rancid or the jam that’s coarse with crystallised sugar, bin ’em. And really, how many jars of Sichuan sesame paste do you need? Remove all but the most recent one. The other (or in your case, Mr Preston, others) should go in a box marked ‘Use’ and dated a week from today. Only cook from this box for the next seven days, then throw out anything unused, along with that crusty jar of hoisin sauce and gnarly bottle of pomegranate molasses. Vinegar is immune, unless it looks like it’s got something from Alien: Earth growing inside it. Any relish unused for six months or more goes in the bin. Be honest – if you’re never going to use it, maybe because of the strange pond scum growing on the surface, scrape it out and wash the jar. Do not put the clean jar back in the cupboard ‘just in case’. Recycle it.

Related recipe: XO sauce

Pantry

Pretty much any tin is safe to keep: condensed milk, tomatoes, pulses, tuna. Into the ‘Use’ box it goes. Anything else past its use-by date isn’t. Bin it.

Dinnerware

If it’s chipped, it’s gotta be flipped. It’s unsanitary. You also have three cupboards filled with old dinner services, terracotta cooking pots, little bowls and strange plates and platters that you have never, and will never, use. They must go. Don’t save things for ‘best’ unless you redefine ‘best’ as one night every week. And if two things can do the same job, throw out the uglier, more worn item.

UFOs

Unidentified freezer objects can bring a world of pain if you try to work out what’s actually in that ziplock bag or wrapping of kitchen paper. And if it’s not labelled, then it is undoubtedly not dated, so you also risk that far more real pain of eating something so old, it remembers when ScoMo was prime minister. As for those quarter-packs of frozen veg? Use them for dinner tonight. Pirates used to make a stew called salmagundi, which could contain all manner of leftovers from a ship’s galley. Let this be your inspiration.

Related recipe: Corn, kimchi and miso fritters

Utensils and pans

Divide these into three piles. Things you have used this week, things you have used this year and things that you haven’t used more than a couple of times – if ever. Keep the first two piles. Bin the last pile (you really don’t need six frying pans), or share anything worth using with young relatives who’ve recently left home.

One in, one out

Make a resolution that henceforth, if you buy a new pan, silicon spatula or exotic spice blend, you can only do so if you bin something in its place. This should help you ensure that things don’t get out of hand again.

Good luck!
Matt

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