The world of the advertising jingle is a curious one. It is perhaps the only place, other than the Republican Party, where the more ridiculous and annoying you are, the more successful you become. The ultimate aim when writing a jingle is for it to be memorable – as in, impossible to forget, no matter how hard people might try. Write some cutesy lyrics to a catchy tune, throw in your product name and whammo! You’ve got consumer brand recall for life. Sadly, the jingle has fallen out of favour among advertising execs in recent decades. It seems silly little ditties that irritate people into buying your goods and services just aren’t cool any more. Madness! So, we’ve decided to pay tribute to this uniquely absurd art form. We’re taking you back to the golden era of Australian food and drink jingles – the ‘80s and ‘90s. Enjoy.
Hi kids. This is your old Auntie Al speaking. A looong time ago, there was no internet, and people would have to use something called a telephone book to look up a phone number if they wanted to make a call. So, getting an entire country to memorise your phone number by singing along to the music you made for it was actually pretty freaking genius. Watch here.
Thank you very much for getting this stuck in my head again. But kudos to Roses for managing to stay relevant for 75 years. See? Annoying jingles do work. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Celebrations. You can take my Bounty, but you’ll never take my freedom. Watch here.
Naww. Weren’t the ’80s great? When women were free to be wives, mums AND indentured cooks! But before you start thinking that the women had to do all the work, just wait until you get to the 0:43 mark, and you’ll see some poor man, slaving over a barbecue. He oughta be congratulated. Watch here.
Well, who’d have thunk it? Here’s another one! After the clever men have finished carefully crafting the bread, good old Mum gets to make everyone sandwiches. Bless. Watch here.
What’s Dad up to while Mum’s busy making bonza scones? He’s off rockin’ some rapids, bein’ a Solo Man. And who could blame him? The poor guy needs some down time after all that barbecuing he did the other week. Watch here.
So, you can’t beat a Sao for a snack, huh? Clearly these people have never come across a wheel of brie. Watch here.
This one echoed across the US and the UK as well as here in Oz. That stupid dance. That stupid five word refrain. So insulting to our intelligence. Now excuse me while I go and google some chicken recipes. Watch here.
Come on, ladies! Buy a Flake, and you too can have some creepy bloke follow you into the woods and invade your personal space. This manages to encapsulate everything that was wrong with the ‘80s into one 30-second commercial. Watch it, and feel grateful for how very far we have come.
Take an old classic – Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick (possibly one of the worst songs ever written) – change ‘rhythm stick’ to ‘Samboy chip’ and then film some dubiously famous people singing along. Did it work? Hell if I know. Those Atomic Tomato ones are pretty awesome, though. Watch here.
Officially from the ‘70s (1979), but the appearance of Dennis Lillee’s chest carpet makes this worth the exception. Kinda makes you feel like a Tooheys or two… Watch here.
Whatever Donovan got paid for this, we hope it was worth it. Watch here.
As every schoolkid of this particular era well knew, the real words were: “My dad picks his nose that goes to Snotties…” Watch here.
Would it, though? Things would get, like, really sticky. And what’s with eating the dog, dude? Please don’t show this ad to Donald Trump. Watch here.
Sexy woman in teeny bikini impresses horde of gaping men with her impressive drink-chugging skills. Aw, let’s bring back the ’80s, ladies, whaddaya say? Later, our heroine no doubt impresses her admirers even more by breaking the land-speed record in her desperate sprint to get to the toilet in time. That’s one way to feel good fast, I guess. Watch here.
In what is likely one of the most tenuous lyric replacements yet attempted in jingle land, the American classic “Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?” is replaced with ‘Pardon me boy, is that a Goulburn Valley Fruit Snack?” This was just one of many performances by the Oarsome Foursome that SPC inflicted on us over the years, but it would probably have to count as the most annoying. And that’s really saying something. Watch here.
