Major UK retailer Marks & Spencer has been making headlines for all the wrong reasons with its recent launch of a product known as Chocolate and Coconut Lamingtons. They’re calling them “the Aussie-inspired sweet treat that everyone’s talking about”. We’re here to break this particular promotional sentence down for you so you can understand what’s really going on. 

Yes, lamingtons are a very Australian thing. Not even New Zealand tries to claim that they invented them. Oh wait, of course they do. And yes, Marks & Spencer’s version is certainly “inspired by” our beloved chocolate-and-coconut-coated sponge national treasure. But “inspired by” is about as far as any rational-thinking, cake-loving person would go. 

 

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You see, that’s the real reason why “everyone’s talking about” them. Because these, my friends, are not lamingtons. Call them what you like. A travesty. A slap in the face to a staunch ally. Possibly an inexplicably appalling error by someone’s research intern. But they are not lamingtons. Just look at this picture. LOOK AT IT. I don’t even know what this is. We gave them Vegemite and this is how they repay us?

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Let’s review the marketing copy: “Our Chocolate and Coconut Lamingtons feature fluffy sponge enrobed in luscious chocolate sauce, coated in coconut shavings, crowned with smooth vanilla buttercream and finished with a dollop of tangy raspberry jam. Irresistible.”

Irresistible not to punch you in the face, matey. Who puts the cream and jam on top? A dangerously unhinged cake terrorist hell-bent on unleashing the next world war, perhaps. But certainly not any self-respecting baker who knows how to follow a simple recipe. 

M&S has also released these so-called ‘lamingtons’ in Caramelised Biscuit flavour – a sin we must forgive, as apparently we sell a version of these at Woolies. 

There’s just so little to feel good about these days. You’d think we could at least leave the poor, innocent lamington in peace. Even the Kiwis would have to be on our side for this one. 

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