No one wants to sit near a dribbly, yappy, smelly dog when they dine out. Unless it’s their dog, and then it’s totally reasonable and lovely. But times are changing, and Australians are becoming more Parisian in our egalitarian attitude to dogs in restaurants and cafes. Blurry on the laws, we are passing nibbles from our plates to little Rex on the booth beside us, blocking waiters with our canines’ furry behinds, expecting bowls of water and giving little regard to the occasional rolled eye around us.

“Dogs are people too,” a diner inside the Sackville Hotel in Sydney’s Rozelle snapped back when our table asked her to keep her dog close because one in our party will break out in hives if brushed by the beasts. Valid point, we conceded. But as more pooches appear at the table, often tied loosely outside but also peeking out from under tables or within tote bags indoors, it’s hard not to question when things got so barking mad, dogs in restaurants wise.

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It sounds like the beginning of a joke. Three horses walked up to a cafe in Robertson. But it’s true. In the Southern Highlands town south-west of Sydney recently, the horses stood tied up to a tree at Moonacres, the delicious. Produce Awards winning, chef-approved cafe that grows its own produce.

Nearby, a pet cockatoo in a cage called out “hello” to the passing waiter as it joined its owner for pancakes at the outdoor table. Dogs sat atop numerous knees while their owners ate salt cod and potato hash with zucchini, salsa verde and a sunny side egg for breakfast. Rumour has it that one local brings her pet baby goat called Lily for company over a flat white on occasion. The animals are not allowed inside, but the large outdoor dining space regularly has a marvellous menagerie of locals and their well-behaved pets.

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In cities, dogs in restaurants and cafes are often met with mixed responses. There are the fellow diners who bend down and greet the pup like a long lost friend (ignoring the human accompanying them). Or there’s a tut tutting, “paw show” kind of glance that most parents of fur babies choose to ignore.

Dogs are often better behaved than children, and certainly better than many adults. Dogs are usually an extension of a family, and if they are tied up and don’t make a mess then why can’t they just sit down and enjoy their tartare in peace like the rest of us?

The rules are clear-ish. In all Australian states and territories, pet dogs are allowed in outdoor dining areas of cafes, pubs and restaurants. Except when the restaurant owner says they’re not, or that they must wear a leash or be kept on the ground. Any business owner’s request “should be respected”, says the City of Sydney. The government body that looks after food safety in Australia and New Zealand says dogs are not allowed in kitchens and indoor dining areas, with the exception of service animals, and there’s legislation to back it.

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There are rules, and then there’s etiquette. For those who like to abide by the basic principles of polite society, there are certain guidelines to bringing your pooch to an area where others are eating. “Don’t bark, don’t leave a mess and if your dog is sniffing someone’s newborn in a pram, give the leash a yank,” says cavoodle owner Alice, who lives in the dog-loving suburb of Balmain.

“The same people who complain angrily if you don’t have a bag already in your hand to pick up after your dog at the park will be the same kind to snap if your dog is blocking their path outside a cafe,” says Alice. “Dog owners are so terrified of being berated, I think they behave better than most. I take my own foldable dog bowl to a cafe, I keep my dog on a leash, and I keep him close.”

South Melbourne resident Jannie often takes her black poodle Hugo to the local cafe as part of their daily walk and it’s a ritual beloved by the pair. She takes a folded padded mat for him to sit on those cold Melbourne mornings, which also serves as a guide so he knows where to be.

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Alice says she calls cafes she has never been to ahead of time in order to check their dog friendliness level. “If they don’t want me and him, I definitely don’t want them,” she laughs.

Many restaurants don’t want dogs. One restaurant owner, who spoke anonymously, says he’s too scared of the backlash from dog owners if he says no dogs in the outdoor courtyard of his casual eatery in Sydney’s Inner West. “I don’t think dogs enjoy eating out. They sit there staring at their owner, begging, or running around annoying everyone. Our waiters trip on the leashes, and get asked if there’s anything for their dog – who can’t eat onion and doesn’t like pepper – to eat. We get the weirdest requests. People sometimes let their dogs lick their plates when they finish eating. It’s off putting,” he says.

“Dog owners should not expect a dog bowl full of water, our waiters are busy enough. I’ve been into the courtyard and not been able to move for fear of treading on a dog tail or bumping into a pram. Human babies are welcome, but not so much the fur variety. I couldn’t tell them this, I’d be blacklisted,” says the restaurant owner.

His top tips for dog owners, etiquette wise, is to keep the dog on a leash and never on the lap when there is food on the table. “If your dog is jumpy or hectic, or huge, leave it at home. Everyone thinks their own child is an angel, well the same goes for dog owners. Take your dog to the park instead, they’d prefer it,” he says.

“Would you let your child crawl around under the table and let them sniff other patrons’ meals, trip the staff over with their toys, or cause havoc by rolling around and growling at other children? No. I guess some parents might.”

Dogs are often spotted inside pubs across Australia. In Sydney’s Chippendale, The Lord Gladstone welcomes well-behaved dogs and owners inside, but not around the kitchen. The Australian Heritage Hotel in The Rocks is dog friendly, even offering treats from behind the bar for well-behaved dogs. In Surry Hills, owners and their dogs can sit side by side at The Carrington, where there are dedicated doggy dishes on the menu, including beef tartare. Merivale’s Northern Beaches establishment The Newport also allowed dogs outside, with a strict leash policy.

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The rules about where animals can go are often more strict in Australia than in some other parts of the world. In much of Europe, such as Italy and France, and the United Kingdom, dogs often appear in cafes and restaurants, even in supermarkets.

There are those who say the rules are too tight, and the no-dogs-indoors law had dog lovers growling late last year. A Melbourne council sparked an online backlash after letter-dropping pubs in the area to clarify the law and remind them that for food safety reasons, dogs are only allowed in outdoor beer gardens. In response, a Change.Org petition collected nearly 17,000 signatures saying “outdated laws threaten dog-friendly culture”.

The same petition states that “businesses that wish to welcome their patron’s [sic] dogs should be free to do so, at their own discretion”. It adds: “We all know that polite, healthy dogs aren’t going to make you sick – they live in our homes, sleep in our beds, and accompany us everywhere. Our health is not suffering as a result.” It neglects to realise its own dog-owner bias.

Across the world, but usually in the United States, dog allies are opening up their own dog restaurants. Some venues offer tasting menus for pets and there are food trucks at festivals for humans’ best friend. You can splurge on a pink, rose shaped dog pastry made from antelope heart from Dogue, a canine restaurant in San Francisco, while dog menus have become the new version of kids’ menus at some restaurants. At Brosi & Horton in the East Village, New York, dog items and pastries for humans are prepared by separate staff and served on disposable plates to prevent cross contamination.

Australian pooches and their owners are on the leash, mostly metaphorically, when it comes to dining out. Four-legged patrons are better behaved than ever – can we say they are well- heeled? – usually keeping their leashes on and staying close to their humans. Now all restaurants and cafes need to worry about is the behaviour of the humans they’re with.

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