Potato chips are the panacea of the people. You don’t even need to eat one for them to make you feel good – simply the sound of a rustling chip packet in your shopping bag is enough to send a thrill of delight through your veins. But sadly, not all chip flavours are as good as they’re crunched up to be. It’s hard to believe – you’d think that anything involving deep-fried potato would have to be awesome. Yet somewhere along the way, some chip-makers have let the team down, coming up with chip flavours that just do not deliver. So, next time you’re in the chip aisle, how do you know which packet to reach for… and which to leave on the shelf? Easy, Just read on. You see, as delicious. Chief Chip Correspondent, I have been tasked with ranking some of the most well-known chip flavours available in Australia, from the sickening to the sublime.
“I know – let’s make something that tastes like feet!” This is the only possible explanation for what must have been going through the minds of the people responsible for creating this chip flavour. They are an abomination. An insult to good, honest, chip-loving people everywhere. And they must be stopped.
It’s the flavour that everyone forgets about. Like it never existed. Wishful thinking, most likely.
Sounds like a great idea. Tastes like somebody started the recipe, but then got bored and walked out halfway through. They don’t taste like chicken, or soy, or honey. Or honey soy chicken. And I can’t even say, “But well done for trying”, because obviously no one did.
There’s something so infinitely disappointing about this flavour. No matter how many you cram into your gob, it never quite delivers. Trust me, I’ve tried. And barbecue what exactly? Or is this supposed to be what an actual barbecue tastes like? Let me go and find one and lick it, and I’ll report back.
While Thins themselves are a questionable chip move – who wants their potato chips to be thinner? Is there an impending potato famine that no one has told me about? – there is no denying the seductive allure of Thins Light & Tangy. They’re just the right blend of spice and zing to make your tongue sing, and because they’re called ‘Thins’ and ‘Light’, you can pretend that you’re being health-conscious while you mindlessly eat your way through an entire bag of them.
This summer, pick Australian grown corn with grassy green husks for a fresh addition to your BBQ.
What’s really great about these is how they can make your mouth water, and your eyes squinch up a little, with just a small tantalising taste. Impossible to stop at one. Or one bag. Chip flavour developers take note: keep things simple and you’ll be on to a truly winning formula, instead of being stuck with a warehouse full of honey soy chicken chips that no one wants.
Like the little black dress in the fashion world, plain salted potato chips will never go out of style. And also like the little black dress, you can go casual or haute couture (or cuisine). Stick with the basic supermarket crinkle-cut plain, opt for crispy kettle, or go high-end with one of the fancy brands that you’ll only find being sold for $10 a bag at trendy specialty grocers. Are they worth the money? Abso-crunching-lutely.
Despite my own reservations about this particular chip flavour, I feel duty-bound to include these at this position on the list, after the delicious. team bombarded my inbox with requests to include them. And so, here we are. You owe me, guys. But it has to be said, Red Rock Deli does deliver in spades on the overall chip front, with generous, crunchy, golden spheres of goodness. And their limited-edition flavours are the bomb.
Even a chicken isn’t silly enough to think these taste like chicken, but who cares? They’re bloody delicious, and I won’t hear a bad word about them. The perfect mix of sweet and salty, a touch of lurid yellow colouring to further ignite your senses, and those irresistible crinkle-cut ridges, just made for blissful nibbling. Five stars.
And yea verily, the clouds did part, and the angels did descend bearing gifts from heaven. We promised god-tier, and here we have it. The Atomic Tomato chip is the supreme chip flavour that rules them all. Tangy. Oh, so tasty. Utterly moreish and yet so often frustratingly difficult to find. Seek them out wherever you go. Buy them in bulk. Hide them from your friends and neighbours. Eat them in secret, in the bath, by candlelight, while listening to Mozart. This is chip Nirvana, my friends.
