If you are also chronically online, you’ve probably fallen into the “very demure, very mindful” meme on TikTok. Started by creator and trans icon @joolieannie in reference to her office make-up routine – the TikTok sound has gone viral as a delightful way for people to mock the idea of being overly refined and composed in situations that are usually anything but.

The phrase is delivered with a healthy dose of sarcasm, as users exaggerate their delicate behaviour in scenarios where it’s entirely unnecessary. Think of it as the digital equivalent of sipping tea with your pinky out while chaos reigns around you.

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@joolieannie #fyp #demure @OAKCHA @Paul | Fragrance Influencer ♬ original sound – Jools Lebron

Imagine yourself taking the tiniest, most precise bites of a loaded, drippy burger, commenting on how you’re “very demure, very mindful, very cutesy”. Or picture yourself delicately unwrapping a chocolate bar, breaking off the smallest square, and thoughtfully contemplating its flavour  – all while the rest of the bar melts in your hand. “Very demure, very mindful” is where Rat Girl Summer meets Trad Wife Cringe and gives you permission to be your authentic silliest goose.

What does demure mean?

If you haven’t brushed up on your Jane Austin recently, ‘demure’ is an old-fashioned word to describe a reserved, modest, shy and elegant person. It’s traditionally in reference to young women who obviously don’t need their own bank accounts or right to self-determination (remember the healthy dose of sarcasm).

Now, let’s talk about how we can channel this energy during meal times. Mindful eating is all about savouring each bite, allowing the flavours to dance on your palate, you’re full grown and kicking goals.

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What is “very demure, very mindful”?

Guesstimating the amount of ingredients a recipe suggests?
Not very demure.

Carefully measuring ingredients before you start cooking?
Very demure.
Very mindful.

Leaving your dishes in the sink to wash up later?
Not very demure.

Washing your dishes right after your meal?
Very demure.
Very respectful.

Baking cupcakes and eating them all before dinner?
Not very demure.

Baking cupcakes and bringing them in to work for the team?
Very demure.
Very cutesy.

Adding salt to your food before tasting it?
Not very demure.

Taking a small bite first and then sprinkling a touch of salt?
Very demure.
Very mindful.

Eating fruit and vegetables without washing them first?
Not very demure.

Using a vegetable brush and cold water?
Very demure.
Very mindful.

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