I work with someone who, as a matter of principle, will not queue. Her attitude is more ‘how dare you not let me have it now,’ rather than ‘please be more efficient’.

Some might see this as entitlement, but after a day on the phone to a call centre or help line, being told we’re ‘progressing in the queue’ and then being bombarded with the arse-covering semi-apology that they are experiencing an ‘unprecedented level of calls’, queuing for your dinner at the end of the day can feel like the straw that broke the camel’s back. Not that camels ever have to queue for anything.

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The other issue with queuing, whether at the door to a new diner or on the phone ordering a new part for a vacuum cleaner, there comes a time when you are, as they say in poker, ‘pot committed’. You have already spent so much time that you might as well stay. Or, like a certain Brisbanite recently, stump up $200 cash to have someone else line up for you at the new Wendy’s. Macbeth put it best when standing behind that couple wanting to try every single flavour at Messina: “I am…stepped in so far that, should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o’er”.

No sooner than I start thinking about what I’d queue for than I get some real-life options. Do I walk straight into my regular dumpling place, or queue for the old Vietnamese pho joint which seems surprisingly busy – so much so there’s a line of about a dozen waiting for a table? Here FOMO comes into play, and a deep bowl of the nurturing soup delivers.

That evening, I also queue for gelato at a new place. Here again, I suspect the queues are a testament to the quality of what’s on offer. It is. But this is not always the case – social media can hype up that new ramen place or cult bubble tea outlet just arrived from Taipei. Sadly, too few people, once they’ve queued, will tell you that it’s just ‘same old, same old’ and not worth the wait… But the pain and sacrifice of waiting also tends to rose-colour our actual experience. No one wants to admit they stood in line for an hour only to get something that’s merely ‘meh’.

The other thing that irks me is the insensitivity of people queuing in front of me. If there is a long queue waiting, don’t dawdle over your coffee until it goes cold in the cup, or after tasting six ice creams, ask to also taste the chocolate gelato. It’s going to taste like – you guessed it – chocolate.

We need to remind ourselves to consider others. I had to pull myself up the other day, as I was getting testy waiting behind an old dear at the supermarket check-out. They were having a lovely long chat with the cashier.

As I brewed, I realised that I needed to take a long hard look at myself. I should see this as an empowering sign of social isolation being fought. We need to ensure that face-to-face human interaction remains part of daily life, and not sacrificed – along with jobs – at some altar of increased corporate efficiency. And furthermore, if I’m in that much of a hurry, I can always go to the self-service lanes and battle with myself over whether those are red delicious or Fuji apples in my basket. I’ll probably need to call over a worker to help me. We might even have a bit of a chat…

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