The British are coming! Maybe…
Australia’s fast-food scene has recently been flooded with new American imports. Wendy’s. Aunty Anne’s. Wingstop. Even Shake Shack popped up at the Australian Open. But clearly this hasn’t been enough to satisfy our seemingly insatiable appetite for fast food. Now, two Aussies have started Change.org petitions to bring a fast-food chain from a different side of the world – the UK. They want Greggs to come to Australia.
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What is Greggs?
Greggs is a hugely popular British bakery chain, and the largest in the UK, with more than 2400 locations spread across England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. It’s famous for its savoury pastries – in particular, its sausage rolls – but it also sells coffee, breakfast rolls, sandwiches, doughnuts, toasties, pizza, soup and fried chicken bites. It’s fast, it’s affordable and it’s tasty. The Brits love it, and if you’ve been to the UK, you likely loved it, too.
Related story: Are New Zealand’s meat pies better than ours?
Who has started the petitions?
One of the petitions was started by a Melbourne man named Kyle Edward. A first-generation Australian with relatives in Scotland, he appears to claim – somewhat spuriously – that bringing Greggs to Australia would be the solution to our cost-of-living crisis.
“Tradies, what’s worse than 7/11 running out of sausage rolls and the popular sandwiches costing you an arm and leg? That’s right, there’s nothing worse… NOTHING.” he writes passionately on his petition page.
“That scenario is only a scenario IF we have GREGGS.
“In conclusion, introducing GREGGS Convenience stores to Melbourne, this would offer a diverse and affordable dining option, create jobs, and align with the city’s focus on sustainability and it’s [sic] love for diverse culinary experiences. This move could cater to the diverse tastes and needs of Melbourne’s residence [sic] and visitors while potentially opening doors for further expansion in Australia.”
The other petition was started by a woman named Jade Irons, who lives in Perth. All she has to say on the matter is:
“We all cherish the delight of biting into a freshly baked sausage roll, savoury pastie, or indulging in a sweet treat that lifts our spirits.
“Let’s get a Gregg [sic] in Perth Australia”
Clearly she hasn’t noticed that we have bakeries in Australia already.
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What has the response been to the Greggs petitions?
The response has, as yet, not been too overwhelming. At the time of writing, Kyle’s petition had garnered 152 signatures, while Jade’s had only 48. And according to Yahoo Lifestyle, which also reported on this world-shattering news event, Greggs isn’t too moved by the whole business, either.
“It’s great to know our fans are everywhere, and whilst Greggs is always exploring new shop opportunities, we can’t confirm a shop Down Under right now,” a spokesperson told them.
But every opportunity is a marketing opportunity for a fast-food chain, so they made sure to keep us all hanging by saying: “Never say never – you never know where our bakes might land next.”
Until Greggs heads south, it looks like Kyle, Jade and their 200 loyal followers will just have to settle for one of the many excellent Aussie bakeries that have been nailing the sausage roll for decades. Pass me the tomato sauce, would you?
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