If you thought ‘girl dinner’ was chaotic, hold onto your digestive tracts. ‘Boy kibble’ has arrived to prove that presentation is meaningless, plates are optional and the line between a gym bro and a golden retriever is now officially non-existent.

What is boy kibble?

Boy kibble is basically a meal of meat (usually mince of some kind), white rice, and potentially a vegetable or two, if the cook is feeling particularly fancy that day. This is usually cooked in bulk as meal prep for the entire week. It’s called ‘kibble’ after the American name for dried dog food. Yum yum in your tum. 

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@lowkeyralph Me and boy kibble against the world #fyp #boy #mealprep #foryoupage ♬ Greenpoint – Elijah Fox

Why are they doing this to themselves?

It’s all about protein, dude. Fitness enthusiasts are eating this slop several times a day in an attempt to drop body fat and increase muscle mass. They might have given up on joy, but no one’s going to mess with their macros. Are they getting results? Sure. Are they allowed at the grown-up’s table? Absolutely not. 

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Credit: Ben Dearnley

Who is responsible for this crime against gastronomy?

There is no one single ‘inventor’ of boy kibble – body-conscious blokes have been subsisting on mince and rice for decades. But food content creator Patrick Kong is believed to have popularised the term ‘kibble’ after posting his recipe for ‘human kibble’ – and its results on his physique – on his socials. Following the virality of ‘girl dinner’, the term ‘boy kibble’ was the inevitable, albeit regrettable, outcome. 

So if you happen across a man spooning beige sludge out of a Tupperware container, now you’ll know you don’t have to ask him if everything is alright at home. Just give him a scratch behind the ear, and promise him it’ll be time for walkies later. 

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