Sigmund Freud famously argued that the ego is the part of the psyche that mediates between our primal desires and reality. But for millions of Australians, this didn’t happen in the mind – it happened in the freezer aisle.

The Magnum Caramel Ego has been our sweet, sturdy-choc-coated emotional support ice cream through good times and bad since its launch in 1998. Along with its even more decadent sibling, the Double Caramel Ego, this rich and creamy dairy treat showed us that we weren’t just worthy of a quality treat; we were worthy of love. We were enough, just as we were. 

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But now, the Magnum Caramel Ego has disappeared from supermarket shelves, with a spokesperson from The Magnum Ice Cream Company confirming to nine.com.au that it has been discontinued. Shoppers who once stood proud and tall, bolstered by a thick layer of chocolate and gooey caramel, are now to be found bereft, staring into the hollow void of the frozen peas section. A nationwide outbreak of paralysing self-esteem crises have left psychology experts scrambling to triage a surge of patients who can no longer identify where their personality ends and the caramel is supposed to begin. Because the caramel is no more.

There is a long road ahead for our nation’s recovery. Perhaps the only thing that can save us now is a Triple Caramel Ego. Send your thoughts, prayers and any unopened multipacks. 

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