If everyone is going into the dinner with the same expectations, it’s much easier to work out the knots. If you’re eating family style, then it’s fair to say it should be an even split.
Get on the same page with ordering and paying
Don't want to pay for your friend's boyfriend's drinks? Here's our guide to splitting the bill fairly
I once went to a dinner with a few friends, and someone’s random boyfriend. We all had individual meals, the ring-in ordered himself Alaskan king crab while the rest of us had much more modest dishes. When the bill came, he suggested that we split it evenly. You can imagine the uncomfortable grumbles and awkward looks that followed. This is obviously an extreme example of self-awareness gone haywire, but it is the first step in the dance of bill-splitting etiquette. So what are the right moves, and who’s got two left feet?
Note who is drinking and who is not
It’s no secret that restaurants get a large percent of their profits from alcohol sales. The easiest way to avoid an awkward situation when it comes to the booze bill is either to ask your waiter to put the drinks on a separate bill, or share bottles of wine. If wine isn’t your thing, cap yourself at midrange beers and read the room.
Treat your guest of honour
If you’ve gathered your friends together to celebrate someone’s birthday, graduation, engagement, etc, pony up and pay for them. Especially if it’s a surprise. No one wants to be sprung with a ‘gift’ that costs them precious pennies.
Dietaries are the exception
If everyone is sharing dishes but one guest has dietary restrictions and can’t eat everything, they’re allowed to opt out of splitting the bill. It’s not fair to expect that your vego mates contribute to pay for your rib-eye, especially if they’re ethically opposed to the consumption of animal products. Best to leave the steakhouse for a different night.
An unexpected round of drinks
If someone has ordered a spontaneous round of, for instance, shots or cocktails for the table, they should be paying for the round. Again, no ‘gift’ should cost guests money.
Have a payment plan
Decide whether to use separate cards, one credit card, or a bill-splitting app before you ask for the bill. Choosing a payment method upfront prevents confusion and awkwardness later. It’s also a bit of a pain for waiters to grapple with a dozen credit cards with different amounts for each person.
Advocate for others
If your sober friend or vegetarian mate is looking uncomfortable with having to pay for someone else’s drinks or expensive dishes, be the one to say something – respectfully. It can be really intimidating speaking up to a group of friends, so make light of it, advocate for them, and make things fair.
