So, you’ve scored your first date with a potential special someone, go you! There might be a million thoughts running through your mind from whether your hair is doing that weird thing again to wondering if they could be… The One. Between choosing the perfect outfit and taming rogue facial hair, something you might not have considered is what you’re going to eat. Avoid a first-date faux pas and dodge potential disasters with our list of the worst foods you can order on a first date.
Ain’t no thing like a chicken wing to take your romance from hot tamale to cold fish. If you’re running a risk of getting sauce on your cheeks or saved in your beard for later, best to opt for a safer choice of bird. The same goes for spare ribs and pretty much anything you have to eat with two hands.
Parsley, mint, bulgur wheat, finely chopped vegetables and a zesty dressing. Yum! Spending your night picking little flecks of greenery out of your teeth – not so good. While completely delicious, tabouli can also be a bit of a buzzkill, particularly if you’re not comfortable telling someone else they’ve got green stuff in their teeth.
Salt & vinegar burger. Source: delicious
Garlic as a rule is a bit of a no-no if you’re hoping for that goodnight kiss but let’s be real – toum is the absolute queen of garlic. Nothing but raw garlic and cold water, pounded into a fluffy paste, oh baby! Any other day of the week, go absolutely crazy with the pale mistress of deliciousness but leave it behind on date night. Same goes for tzatziki. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
Another delicious mess, san choy bao when eaten correctly is a two handed job that usually involves an owl-like turn of the head, a shoulder-scrunching hunch over a plate and a stream of sauce down the forearm. Hot.
On a first date, you want to show at least a bit of personality (not all of it, don’t spook them) so when a garden salad or a grilled chicken breast shows up, you may as well announce “I’m boring and I’m going to make you watch videos of my cat sleeping.” There are plenty of incredible salads out there so please, avoid the mixed leaves.
We’re using Brussels sprouts here as an umbrella term for anything that is likely to make you, er, gassy. If you know that a bowl of beans doesn’t agree with you, maybe don’t order the braised lentils. French onion soup is great! It can also be a one way ticket to bloat town. Alliums and legumes are notorious for curious digestive behaviour so proceed with caution.
If a meal comes with its face still attached, dodge it on the first date. Escargot, that is, snails, are a prime example of a bold entree for a first date. Fiddly, divisive, usually smothered in garlic and finely chopped parsley, the French classic is the holy trinity of bad first date food. Pop them back in the garden.
Let’s not end the first date before it’s even begun, ok? People get weirdly passionate about certain food preferences like whether or not pineapple goes on pizza (it does), if it’s acceptable to have tomato sauce with your steak (it’s not) and even whether liquorice deserves a place on the food pyramid (absolutely not). If you’re planning on getting that second date, play it safe and put the coriander in the bin.
Hotdogs, Pluto pups, bananas… basically anything that makes it feel weird to maintain eye contact when eating. You get the idea and we’ll leave it at that.
