The Japanese are known for their perfect precision, and their perfect nigiri, but now a new and terrifying threat has struck at the very heart of this peaceful nation’s dining scene.

‘Sushi terrorists’ are targeting sushi train outlets in Japan, posting videos of themselves doing things like licking communal soy sauce bottle lids and serving spoons, sticking their fingers in food and dumping big wads of wasabi on passing plates. Aren’t people just awesome?

It all began, as these things so often do, with one misguided teenaged boy. This totes hilaire young man got his friend to film him sucking on a soy sauce bottle at a sushi train in Gifu, and then posted the video online. It went viral, natch. And being the social media sheep that we are, sushi terrorist copycats soon came slinking out of the woodwork. 

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Thanks to this bunch of total and utter plonkers, Japanese sushi train chains have now been forced to bring in new rules, such as setting up designated pick-up spots for utensils and condiments, putting photos of food on passing plates instead of the real thing and installing extra surveillance cameras. Others have switched to table service only, and some are offering disinfected tableware to order. Like we haven’t already had a gutful of this kind of thing since Covid came along the conveyor belt.

Meanwhile, sushi train share prices have plummeted as a result, and angry company execs are now planning legal action. While the original instigator in question has apologised, we doubt very much a simple ‘sumimasen’ is going to stop that particular train from leaving the station.

At the time of writing, there had been no reports of similar acts of sashimi sabotage here in Australia. Let’s keep it that way, people, okay?

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