Often, we find ourselves away on work trips eating alone, or heading out for a weekday lunch and ordering it to take away rather than facing that ostensibly lonely table for one. But, actually, there is something special about dining alone. On paper, it sounds like the saddest thing ever. But it can also feel like the most romantic sort of meal. Essentially, you’re on a date with yourself – how often do you get the chance to do that? From a food writer who does it more often than she’d care to admit, here’s how to make the most of your solo meal: our guide to dining alone.

Eat at the bar

From Momofuku Noodle Bar on New York’s Lower East Side, to Sukiyabashi Jiro in Tokyo and Sydney stalwart Firedoor in Surry Hills, eating at the bar is arguably the best way to experience the restaurant. It’s also the perfect way to dine alone: there’s no ‘Sad Waitstaff Face’ as you take your seat at the table and they quietly remove the other set of cutlery. Eating at the bar almost necessitates dining alone, given the strange contortions you are forced to do when you do find yourself eating with another, or, heaven forbid, in a group of three. Plus you usually get to either watch the action in the kitchen, or chat to the bar staff for whom 50% of their job is banter.

People watch

We will have no words spoken against eating alone at table, however. Sitting at a table offers you more space, or if you’re in Paris then really those little brasserie terrace tables barely sit one anyway. Try and nab a seat with a great view, then it’s time to sit back with a glass of something delicious and watch the people come and go, with the time and space to do so, given you are dining solo.

Embrace the quiet

How often do you actually get to be alone, with no noise; no distractions? Letting your mind wander is basically mindfulness; like getting a massage, but with chips. Take this time as carbified self-care – you heard it here first.

… or, text a friend

If your mind is racing then it’s ok to chat to a pal instead. I have eaten entire meals shared with friends who weren’t even there. Thank you WhatsApp, may the Lord open.

And if all else fails, eavesdrop

It’s one of life’s greatest pleasures. Be grateful you don’t have to make false, cringeworthy conversation like those two first-daters on table two. You get to listen to their awkward exchanges instead, dipping into the fun bits, and out when it gets dull.

Bring a book

Bored of watching all those people? Nobody to text? Bring a book. It’s the perfect time to catch-up on that novel or true crime, especially once you get a glass of wine involved. Sure, it takes a bit of work to learn how to juggle that book whilst eating, but a few moments every few minutes doing a preparatory chop (you must cut up a few mouthfuls at a time, as if you’re prepping food for a small child: make peace with it) allows you to get your nose back into that book, and removes almost all sense of kerfuffle.

It’s on you

One of the best bits about dining alone? You can eat where, and when, you want. If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t care what you eat (why are you reading delicious? Please leave immediately) then you can go to Maccas and be done. Or, if like any sane person, you do care about what you eat, then you can take your time choosing the right restaurant for you – pro or non-vegan or veggie; Asian or Western; early or late – it’s on you. What freedom!

Pick’n’(no)mix

With share plates being the go at most restaurants nowadays, the drawback of eating alone is you can’t order a huge range of dishes – or you could, but a) how rich are you? And b) it’s a bit embarrassing innit? The plus side, though, is that you get to eat an entire plate of food all to yourself; no-one else to scoff the last prawn, or the last piece of bread, or do the unthinkable and eat all the ice cream that goes alongside the tart, leaving the tart unadorned. We’re all in it for the ice cream basically.

Bring something extra

When, inevitably, you head to the loo during your meal, you don’t want to leave your bag at the table (or have I been living in the city too long?). Bring something with you that you can leave – a shawl, scarf, hat, sarong, anything inexpensive – so you can leave it on your seat while you’re not there. Table poachers exist, and no one wants to deal with those monsters alone: let your scarf do the talking.

Be the coolest

Can we please just take a second and realise how chic you look right now? Sitting there, wine in one hand (yes, there is always wine when I dine alone), book in the other. You may as well slap on a beret and be done with it. Dining alone doesn’t just feel like an indulgence; it also makes you look confident, and, ultimately it makes you look cool. It’s just a fact. Channel your inner Catherine Deneuve and embrace the moment, friend: you are unflappable; you have reached peak cool.