Forget turducken – there’s a new bird behemoth in town. Meet the Quadrucken: a festive roast combining turkey, duck, chicken and quail. It comes with a cranberry, apple and maple-flavoured stuffing, and is topped with latticed bacon, just in case you’re worried that you might run short on meat. 

We personally feel this is an affront to Christmas – where’s the partridge in the pear tree? Surely they could have crammed that in there somewhere. Maybe next year…

If you prefer your bird with more oink, you can also opt for the ALDI Turhamken – turkey, ham and chicken. Or if four birds is just one too many for you, there’s also a regular Turducken. Whichever you choose, just make sure you haven’t invited any vegans for Christmas lunch, or things could get a tad tense.

The Four Bird Roast is available at ALDI from December 18 for $24.99/kg, the Turhamken Roast is $19.99/kg and the Turducken Roast is $22.99/kg. 

Related story: 36 Christmas mains that will have you fighting over the leftovers