Is it okay to ask fussy eaters to bring their own food? - News + Articles

Nov 28, 2024

Could you pass the non-GMO gluten-free paleo bread?

One of the perils of entertaining is that sometimes, you’ll have a guest with some kind of dietary requirement. And as the host, it’s your duty to ask your guests about this before you start planning the menu.

Of course, it’s vitally essential for hosts to know about any guests who have serious food allergies or a condition like coeliac disease; and other things, like a person’s religious beliefs, should also be respected.

But what about less, er, life-threatening situations – like your mate Dave who’s newly converted to the paleo diet (and makes sure everyone within a 3km radius knows about it), or that cousin who won’t eat anything that’s been cooked with tap water because someone on Instagram told her that fluoride causes brain cancer – should you have to cater to their whims?

I say hell to the no.

Related story: 50 share-plate recipes for easy entertaining

Breakfast cheesecakes with almond oat streusel and berries

Thank you berry much

I have a mild berry allergy. More of an intolerance, really. If I eat raspberries, I get really super angry, then get hives. If I eat cranberries, I… well, let’s just say you don’t want to be sharing a bathroom with me anytime soon. But if there are berries in a meal or dessert that someone has been kind enough to make for me, I just won’t eat them. I’m simply grateful to be invited. And most people love berries, so I’m not going to ask a host to not use berries just because there’s a very (berry) slight chance I might start swinging punches.

Entertaining is stressful enough as it is without having someone throw a random dietary request into the mix.

So if you choose to only eat yellow things this week because it nourishes your fire chakra, then you should bring your own food to the party. Oh, and Dave, palaeolithic people ate grains. All. The. Time.

What about vegetarians and vegans?

This is a choice that’s based on someone’s moral beliefs, which means that you should respect it. Vegetarians are very easy to cater for – just make sure that you include some meat-free dishes and you’re golden. Veganism can be trickier, especially if you’re not au fait with what vegans will and won’t eat (condiments is a particularly grey area for the uninitiated). Our advice is to ask for their advice. If you’re worried, ask them to bring their own condiments. And if you’re planning a whole pig on the spit, maybe you shouldn’t invite them this time. Or at least warn them before they show up to your barbecue, vegie burgers in hand.

What about fussy eaters?

I know this one bloke who won’t eat any vegetables except peas and potatoes. His mum catered to it, and then his wife did. So he won’t eat anything except peas and potatoes. He’s in his early 50s now. And you know what? I feel really sad for him. He’s not just missing out on essential nutrients; he’s also missing out on the many and varied joys that a wide range of vegetables can bring to a table. And oh, they are in abundance.

With this guy, it’s relatively easy (albeit galling) to cater to his habits. Everyone likes potatoes, and it takes a few short minutes to boil up some peas. (About as many minutes as it takes for you to boil up with rage about having to boil up some peas for a man baby, really.)

But for super-picky eaters – such as those who don’t ‘like’ anything that’s not deep-fried, ultra-processed or drenched in tomato sauce – it’s just no fun to have them at your table. Everyone misses out. Including them. So again, I say hell to the no. If you want to be a grown-up who goes to grown-up dinner parties, eat what you’re given and enjoy expanding that palate of yours beyond the McDonald’s drive-thru, or bring your own food and cook it your damn self. Hey – we’ll even set you up with your own kiddy table in the corner.

Experiencing new foods and enjoying a good meal with friends are some of the chief joys in life. If you choose not to partake, that’s your loss, but you shouldn’t expect everyone else to take the hit with you.