Here we are, just four days into spring, and most of us are still rubbing our bleary eyes from a long, cold winter spent hibernating under a blankie in our poorly insulated living rooms. And yet, just as we feel brave enough to venture out to the shops without at least three umbrellas and several layers of our best trusty thermal underwear, what do we find at the supermarket? Is it new flowers in bloom and baby lambs frolicking in the aisles? No. It appears that Christmas is coming. 

A quick trip to Woolies today revealed a cornucopia of festive delights, from plum puddings and mince pies to Terry’s Chocolate Oranges. It appears that we have all become so hopelessly muddled as a society, we need to start stockpiling our Christmas shopping in September. 

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It’s one thing to start spruiking hot cross buns the day after Santa’s been to visit, because let’s be honest – hot cross buns are a life-affirming joy to eat and should be available all year round as a collective morale-booster for all citizens, no matter your colour, creed or currant opinion. In fact, there should be a law to this effect. 

But I just don’t have the energy to start planning Christmas lunch just yet. I’m still wearing ugg boots, for cripes’ sake. And what about poor old Halloween? Is it going to get a look-in this year, or are we just going to sail right on through to Valentine’s Day?

I’m going outside to smell the roses. Before they sell out.

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